Can't Help Falling In Love....

I love Christmas time. I love the feeling and spirit of it. I love the lights and trees and music. I love family time and driving around drinking hot chocolate and looking for a manger with the little baby Jesus in it to remind the kids what it's all about.
I love watching ELF and making treats and singing at the top of our lungs as we dance around the house like we are ridiculously awesome eating half of the treats we were planning on taking around to neighbors and friends...
 This being said, deep down in the pit of my stomach is an uneasiness. I feel pain. Pain for the little ones who are hurting. Although I see the pain, I also see a glimmer of hope in their eyes hoping that this Year will be the year their wishes will finally come true. This is part of the reason I decided to help in raising other mothers' children. Unconditional love is hard. It's hard because you have to constantly remind yourself to see things on a higher level. You have to take time to try to understand things that are happening and why they may be happening. It becomes a little more natural as time goes by, but it really is something that you need to consistently self check. In the process of taking in the little ones who are in our home, somewhere in that time, I fell in love. Now you go into this knowing that you are there to help fill these children's needs until the court and team make necessary decisions that will eventually determin the child's fate. I think foster parents are incredible to be able to take a broken child into their home and figure out how to give them their basic needs and most importantly love them the way they need to be loved. Most people would subconsciously block their hearts from being hurt knowing these children could be taken at any given time because they are NOT YOURS, they are on loan to you. But the good ones, they don't block their heart from loving, they fall in love. They become a mentor and friend in a time of complete despair. They willingly put themselves in a position to have their heart broken in a chance to help mend someone else's. So to all my friends out their who open their homes and hearts, thank you and I LOVE YOU! I know that the Lord has his fingerprints on the plans because there is no possible way that we could do this without his help.... At times it's terrible, but the rainbow never fails to make it's way through... And miracles fall into place. Now the other night I couldn't sleep. I was certainly tired, but my mind wouldn't shut off. I lay in bed and played a song that Lainee had just recorded. I love her music and her voice has a way of calming me. As I listened to this song that I have played over and over I really listened to the words this time. " Wise men say only fools rush in, But I can't help falling in love with you. Like a river flows surly to the sea, Darling so it goes somethings are meant to be. Take my hand ... Take my whole life too, cuz I can't help falling in love with you." Something about Lainee's pure raw voice singing this night with the flood of thoughts running through my head, thinking about the upcoming trial I will be asked to testify in about the things the kids have told me in trust; my emotions got the best of me. I cried like a baby. I felt the words of the song pierce my soul. I am a fool then , because I truly love these kids, I have fallen in love with them and the amazing little beings that they are! All of us wonder where these precious children will be when Santa comes this year. Either way the permanency of the judges words will leave some pain I'm sure. But two things I am certain of as I write this. I am truly and humbly  thankful for God's finger prints in my life, And somewhere along this road, I have fallen in love and no matter the outcome of the judges final decision in this case, my heart is forever changed from letting it love.
~ Tiffany.         Click here 👉LAINEE'S SONG 👈Click here

Listening to the little voice...

We all have that little voice in our head that guides us through our lives, some call it intuition, some say they are inspired by it. Because of my faith, I call it the still small voice, or my comforter. Through my religion I have come to know the comforter as one of my best friends. I cannot see him, but when I am down he comforts me. When I am frustrated he calms me. When I am in trouble he warns me. He prompts me to do things I may not normally do by my own choice. He helps me grow in ways I could never have imagined possible. How do you have a relationship with someone you can't see you may ask? We'll I would like to share my story with you as I start this new blog. It will help me keep a journal of the amazing miracles and trials that have changed my life and family forever. My hope is that they will change a piece of you too. I will write segments as they come back to my mind and new ones that may come in between. My name is Tiffany McDonald. I have lived in Southern Utah most of my life. Never would I have ever imagined growing up to raise four of my own beautiful children, but also help in raising many more wonderful children brought into this world by other mothers who came across difficult situations or tragedies that lead the children to our door step. Our home is a small, old one that often needs fixing, but it is a happy one. People who come into our humble home say they feel the love here and feel welcomed immediately. I sure hope so because that is what I feel I have to offer in this life. I have to say that we are so blessed to live in such a beautiful, most wonderful place where everyone is so quick to lend a hand. We have good old fashion neighbors who help out and have chosen not to judge us for our out of the normal choices and sudden additions to our big family. The Schools where our kids attend is filled with teachers that truly care about the kids and their education and go above and beyond to help meet personal needs. I can't imagine raising all of our amazing kids anywhere else! I'm thankful to the Foster Care Foundation here in St George and DCFS here and in Cedar City for their support and what they do for the kids in need. My goal is to share my experience as a foster mom and to inspire more people to learn more about foster care and how they can make a difference in a child's life. My plan was never to take teenagers from different walks of life into our home, especially with four little kids. We were so scared of all the "what if's" when we were first talking about foster care. I think just like most people, we were afraid of the unknown. I was worried about it "changing" our biological kids. Well I will tell you that it has. It has changed them SO much, but not in the way I was worried about! It has helped them see EVERYTHING in a different light. It has made them stronger. It has made them appreciate everything they have. It has increased their ability to love and their knowledge about life and consequences of the choices they make in life. I was so afraid of change and what I didn't realize is that change can be wonderful. Change is necessary to move forward and for growth. Growth we sometimes don't realize we even need! I truly can't imagine our life without ALL of our children. I know they were lead to our life for a reason. I sit here in tears and think about, What if I didn't call back to ask more questions about the two teen girls they asked us to take in 9 years ago after I said NO WAY and hung up in fear for our four little children ranging in age from 1-7. (I will start with that full story as my first blog post;) I will tell you that when I called back the more they told me didn't help me feel any better because it was A LOT to overcome. But that didn't matter, because I felt an overwhelming love in my heart and butterflies in my stomach as I listened. I have come to understand and recognize that as the spirit from above that prompts me to see things on a higher level. I get answers and also the courage to choose to welcome new children that are sent to our little home with loving open arms, and from there, it hasn't stopped and I'm thankful and amazed at these kids sent here. I've learned that life can change in a moment and I never expect my day to go as I have planned anymore. I've learned that even when things don't seem possible, if it's meant to be, against the odds it will work out. I've learned that you HAVE to trust that little voice in your head and do things sometimes when even those that are closest to you logically and lovingly try to talk sense into you.Our life is always an adventure. We need more good, normal, busy families to open their hearts and homes to these kids in need of love and a family of their own. Holidays are coming and some kids write to Santa and pray to Heaven only for a family to love them. Foster care, it changes lives. Not only the child in need but YOU and your family too. There are kids waiting. Please follow me on my faithful journey. ~Tiffany