I love watching ELF and making treats and singing at the top of our lungs as we dance around the house like we are ridiculously awesome eating half of the treats we were planning on taking around to neighbors and friends...
This being said, deep down in the pit of my stomach is an uneasiness. I feel pain. Pain for the little ones who are hurting. Although I see the pain, I also see a glimmer of hope in their eyes hoping that this Year will be the year their wishes will finally come true. This is part of the reason I decided to help in raising other mothers' children. Unconditional love is hard. It's hard because you have to constantly remind yourself to see things on a higher level. You have to take time to try to understand things that are happening and why they may be happening. It becomes a little more natural as time goes by, but it really is something that you need to consistently self check. In the process of taking in the little ones who are in our home, somewhere in that time, I fell in love. Now you go into this knowing that you are there to help fill these children's needs until the court and team make necessary decisions that will eventually determin the child's fate. I think foster parents are incredible to be able to take a broken child into their home and figure out how to give them their basic needs and most importantly love them the way they need to be loved. Most people would subconsciously block their hearts from being hurt knowing these children could be taken at any given time because they are NOT YOURS, they are on loan to you. But the good ones, they don't block their heart from loving, they fall in love. They become a mentor and friend in a time of complete despair. They willingly put themselves in a position to have their heart broken in a chance to help mend someone else's. So to all my friends out their who open their homes and hearts, thank you and I LOVE YOU! I know that the Lord has his fingerprints on the plans because there is no possible way that we could do this without his help.... At times it's terrible, but the rainbow never fails to make it's way through... And miracles fall into place. Now the other night I couldn't sleep. I was certainly tired, but my mind wouldn't shut off. I lay in bed and played a song that Lainee had just recorded. I love her music and her voice has a way of calming me. As I listened to this song that I have played over and over I really listened to the words this time. " Wise men say only fools rush in, But I can't help falling in love with you. Like a river flows surly to the sea, Darling so it goes somethings are meant to be. Take my hand ... Take my whole life too, cuz I can't help falling in love with you." Something about Lainee's pure raw voice singing this night with the flood of thoughts running through my head, thinking about the upcoming trial I will be asked to testify in about the things the kids have told me in trust; my emotions got the best of me. I cried like a baby. I felt the words of the song pierce my soul. I am a fool then , because I truly love these kids, I have fallen in love with them and the amazing little beings that they are! All of us wonder where these precious children will be when Santa comes this year. Either way the permanency of the judges words will leave some pain I'm sure. But two things I am certain of as I write this. I am truly and humbly thankful for God's finger prints in my life, And somewhere along this road, I have fallen in love and no matter the outcome of the judges final decision in this case, my heart is forever changed from letting it love.
~ Tiffany. Click here 👉LAINEE'S SONG 👈Click here
You my friend are amazing! I love your sweet tender heart! How lucky are these kids to have you as their momma?
ReplyDelete